We have all heard the phrase by Jim Rohn (or a version of the phrase) “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” But have you stopped to actually consider this? What is the impact on your life? Your goals? Your family? Your future?
Darren Hardy shared in The Compound Effect that “According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, the people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”
If that doesn’t grab your attention than nothing will! So who is in your circle? Think about your friends, your work colleagues, your mentors/coaches, your family. Is the circle driving your success or holding you back?
I think the people you allow to speak into your life are vital for success. The people I believe you should spend the most time with should:
Push you to be a better person and to become the best version of yourself
Share value systems
Drive you and hold you accountable to your goals
Support you
Challenge you and call you out when they need to
Inspire you
Celebrate success with you
Be in your corner!
If only life was as simple as finding people with the dot points above! If you have a couple of close friends who meet all of the above then you are blessed. People will move in and out of your life and from the outer circle to the inner circle and vice versa over time.
It’s all about building the right team. I have different people speak to me in various areas of my life and hold me accountable for my goals. My success really comes down to the team I have around me; not just the team that I work with, but the team that surrounds me both in a professional and personal capacity. They truly are the keys to my success. I constantly consider my team and areas I wish to grow and make changes accordingly. I am not afraid to add to my team.
So what do I look for? Here are my top 5.
1) People who have achieved the success I’m looking for
Success leaves clues. Find someone who has achieved the level of success you are looking for and bring them into your circle. Get to know them. Ask them to mentor you. I have a list of successful mentors and coaches over the list who have helped fast track my development in different areas of my life.
I have found that highly successful people are often more than willing to share their journey, particularly if you are willing to be flexible to fit in with their schedule. This could be an early morning meeting, a coffee, a walk and talk etc. Don’t feel like it always has to be formal. My other advice in learning from others is to make sure you take notes regardless of the setting.
2) People who are at the next level
Similar to the above I look to have people at the next level in my life. If my goal is to become the CEO, I want to associate with experienced CEO’s. If there are steps in between I want to ensure I have those leaders in my circle. This also applies to me outside of a work context. If I want to be a better boxer, then I train with better boxers. Want to raise my fitness game, train with those who are the level above. The by-product of spending time with people at the next level is that it causes you to raise your game.
There are many lessons to be learnt by being in the atmosphere of those who are next level. You pick up on the nuances and have the chance to ask questions to fast track your development and growth.
3) People who have qualities I admire or strive towards
I always endeavour to have people in my circle that have character traits I wish to improve or have an approach to life that I admire. This could be patience, humility, joyfulness, gratefulness etc. I’m not saying I lack in these areas but you can always improve.
4) People who bring a different perspective
I love having people in my circle with a different perspective. I am big on shared values (ie integrity, honesty etc) but believe in the power of diversity of thinking and perspective.
I love to challenge the status quo and appreciate people who can confidently and competently share a different viewpoint. I love a good debate! You need these people in your circle. This drives growth in my opinion.
5) People who are continually learning
I believe in lifelong learning and appreciate having people in my circle who adopt this approach. This gives a chance to learn more off each other, inspire each other, share new ideas and grow together. It also feeds back into the points above.
You should give the same level of commitment back to those in your circle. It’s all about a two-way process. To give is better than receive. You win together!
Thank you to everyone who is in my team 😊 You know who you are and I wouldn’t be who I am today without you all.
My final thoughts:
Who is in your circle? What do you look for? Share your thoughts and comments below.
This article is originally published at www.matthewcossens.com/blog/
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