In our last offsite I did a simple yet profound exercise and asked the following questions with our team that went
Rate your current role out of 10? What would make it a 10?
Rate your current client base / desk out of 10? What would make it a 10?
Rate your life out of 10? What would make it a 10?
We then openly discussed everyone’s results and reasons. What an insightful discussion. For the majority of us categorising our role out of 10 and our clients/desk out of 10 was easy. Looking at the improvement steps to move towards a 10 was in most cases was also very clear.
But your life. This is where the discussion got interesting. Unlike a role where performance metrics are often quite linear, life is more complex to nail down to both a number and how it can be improved.
So how can you live your best life?
Own It
One of the first things you can do is own where you are at and realise that you are the author of the story, and the book is a choose your own adventure. Sure, life might throw some curveballs but ultimately you are in charge and the book is filled with your choices. There are no excuses here – you own it and can decide where you are heading! Always remember this! Too many people find excuses and don’t see everything as a choice.
You also get to decide who you are as the main character. I often hear too many people say, I used to be this, I used to be that, I’m not this, I’m not that. Like you can choose the choices you make you also define who the main character of your story is going forward. If you are not happy with that character then go ahead and change it in the next chapter!
I love this quote from the Choose Your Own Adventure Series – it takes me back to when I was young and is relevant to your own story.
Do Things You Love, With The People You Want To Do It With!
During this exercise I rated my life 9.5 out of 10. This surprised quite a few people in the team as from the outside looking in my life can look hectic, stretched and beyond busy. And my answer was genuine. Why? Because I only really do things that I love!
Now before you get all up in arms and say this isn’t possible…..it really is. Find time and only time for the people you love, the things you love and that which brings you happiness. If you can’t find a way to do that or it seems too hard then refer to the previous point.
This doesn’t mean there won’t be some tasks that you just have to do – yes you have to eat, go to the toilet etc and you may not love that but there are always going to be some non negotiables 😊
A quick snapshot of my life for those who don’t know me……..
Work
I work in recruitment, see it as my craft and don’t switch off. I do long hours both at work and outside of work but I love what I do. I love seeing my team grow, my clients achieve success and candidates go to the next level.
I have a Side Hustle through MC Squared where I coach/mentor other Leaders, (in and outside of recruitment) I run webinars internationally and nationally for the industry. I do this outside of core business hours, evenings and weekends, but similar to my recruitment role this is something I love.
I coach at F45 on a Saturday and Sunday mornings, this is also one of the places I train daily at 5:45am. I love the people, community, energy and seeing the transformation of others.
There is a common theme with all these, growth/success of others and transformation. This inspires me personally. Sure I have good and bad days (we all do!) but it is easy overall as I am passionate about what I do and see all these things as being a part of my identity.
This also extends beyond work – anything I chose to do is because it’s something I love/enjoy – whether that is boxing, hitting the gym, personal/professional development, spending times with friends/family, writing this blog – I make the most time for the things I love and leave little space for other items.
A quick snapshot outside of work
I train at 5.45am every morning at F45. I am committed to my health and fitness. I also train at the backend of the day at 7:30pm at the gym – I have an amazing setup at home and moved to this years ago to reclaim time by removing the commute and/or wait time at the gym.
On weekends I train before 6am
On my commute I ensure that I find at least 1 hour of time for personal development – books, podcast etc. The other time I have on my commute I reflect on the day, spend time in gratitude, meditation/prayer, review and plan.
Every evening, I spend time with my wife and family. I don’t get a lot of time with the family during the week so I find more time on the weekend. I try and regularly (once a month) spend individual time with each of my daughters.
Very little happens in my life by accident. I have designed my life and I love it!
Where does this all fit in?
Everyone’s life and what is important to them is different. This also changes as you get older and go through different stages of life but one thing to remember is you can’t have it all. There will always be sacrifice.
Think of the different areas of your life and consider reviewing your life through a life wheel (example below) – either by yourself or with your significant other. Choose what is important to you and make the adjustments necessary. You will never be at 100% in all areas and that’s ok. But be aware of what those choices are. I consider this at different times throughout the year and have constructed my own version of the life wheel with the pillars or areas that are important for me personally.
I have sacrificed a lot to chase after where I am heading but I am aware of these sacrifices, communicate this openly with my wife and am open to change if things go too far in one direction. Everyone’s best life is different as are the drivers for them. I don’t write the above to brag more to highlight that at this moment in time that is what my best life looks like, no doubt next year (when I do my goals) it will be a modified version of the above.
The things I love tie back to my identity and how I see myself and who I want to be. This makes it very easy to prioritise my time in these areas.
Sometimes these can change depending on how I feel (particularly if sick or injured) but I never miss twice on my routine and have people who keep me accountable.
My life is busy, isn’t everyone’s? But it is also very disciplined. I don’t like to waste time.
Interestingly, my top 2 love languages are time and touch. So, if I am spending time with you then I genuinely enjoy your company 😊
In addition to the above I aim for 2 weeks per year where I switch off, rest and recharge by the beach. I may write a blog or some songs/poetry and still keep my time for personal development and the gym but the rest of the time is spent dedicated to the family and friends.
Some quick tips for living your best life
Learn To Say No
Many people I know struggle to say no or suffer from FOMO. Fortunately, this is not something I suffer from. I am good at setting boundaries, clear on my goals, understand my energy levels and prioritising what is most important to me. (see above)
To live your best life in my opinion you need to learn the art of saying ‘No’.
Remove Negativity
You just need to get all the negativity out of your life – whether that’s television, the news, the wrong people in your circle of influence, bad friends etc. I’d extend this further to conversations that just end up in negativity.
Give Back To Others / Be Of Service
One of the best ways to live your best life is to give back to others. Schedule time to be of service, to change other’s lives. You could look for significant ways to make an impact or simply show gratitude to others and be thankful. You’d be surprised how installing a simple daily ritual or routine in this space will change the way you view the world.
Just be a good human 😊
Be A Victor, Not A Victim
So much of your life is really dictated by the lens you have towards it. Why not wake up a victor, be grateful (for all the good things in your day), review where you have won, harness your strengths and see opportunity in the challenge, not the struggle.
Do Something Fresh
This might sound contradictory to do only what you love but you need to also leave time and space to do something fresh. Perhaps a new hobby, try a new restaurant, a different activity or just something spontaneous. Find time to go outside of your comfort zone (that’s where growth is!) to find new things that you might be able to add into the things you love list. It might not always work out but it keeps life from getting stale or old.
And finally just remember that at any stage you can choose to believe and own the following phrase:
What are your thoughts on living your best life? What sets you alight? What choices can you make to chase after 10 out of 10? Share your thoughts below.
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